On Finding Nothing


“Everything takes time. Bees have to move very fast to stay still.”
― David Foster Wallace

Peregrines naturally search.

We wander.

We trace every nook and inspect every cranny.

We reach the edge.

Our intent on traveling is as genetic as mucus membranes, red blood cells, and thin esophageal lining.

We go where others don’t.

What others imagine as a “vacation,” is our mantra for living.

And yet, as inherent as our wandering nature is, do we ever stop to ask the obvious,

“What am I looking for?”

Is it existential meaning or added purpose?

Are we seeking new experiences and cultural diversity?

Do we need more international friends and acquaintances?

Or are we, perhaps, running away from our very selves?

Is our so-called journey turning into the infamous, selfish, and quintessential spiritual search for God?

What is it that we trying so hard to find?

Whether it is the ultimate search for Truth, love, or happiness, if our searching does not immediately halt upon its initial discovery, then we can be confident that what we have found is not of any crucial significance. If we find anything at all, it is more than likely our irrational, cognitive uneasiness, emotional immaturity, or the ill-mannered inability to hold completely still.

When we do find what we are looking for, the lot of us will realize that that which we were searching for was completely present the entire time.

Always staring at us in the mirror when we wake up.

Constantly nestled beside us in the bed, it tucks us in without ever saying a word.

It is that which is silently swallowed between careful sips of blistering coffee.

It is the unnoticed space between the aforementioned coffee and that which we are presently reading.

Our sporadic eye movement flurries back and forth from sipping Joe to recollecting our previous spot on the page without ever realizing the answer lying in between the search.

It is here, it’s there, it always has been, and always will be.

It never was.

Only upon finding nothing, the search conclusively stops.

It is here, and only here, the relaxing bliss of complete satisfaction sits still and takes searching’s place.


What caused you to stop looking?

Share your experience in the comments section and start a conversation about this post.

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